Insights - Take Your LIfe and Your Leadership to the Next Level

2009-01-16T06:57:00.000-05:00

The question "Am I looking for what's right or am I looking for what's wrong?" has the power to shift a moment of despair into a moment of delight. When we look for what's right, we conciously refocus the lens of our perceptions. Suddenly we are able to see the good in every situation and every person.

- Debbie Ford, The Right Questions: Ten Essential Questions to Guide Your LIfe

2008-11-05T13:03:00.002-05:00

I woke up this morning feeling like I could breathe again. Today begins a new era in our country. As I write these words I can hear the slightly cynical voice inside of me ask who I think I am kidding. Barack Obama's campaign was built on hope - and today, it is on hope that I now rely.

Rarely have I been so inspired by a leader. Unlike anyone I have ever seen President-elect Obama's words and presence touch me deeply by both inspiring me to look at the world in a different way and, more importantly, challenging me to take action. The test of a good leader is not his or her ability to excite a crowd, while inspiring passion is part of it, the real test is whether or not they can mobilize people to take action, to get up and follow. It is to this that I find myself responding.

I am one of the small businesses about which the campaign's spoke this year. I am a business man who feels the impact of the difficult economic times and yet will also be asked possibly to give a little more to help those who can not help them selves. To this I say, yes I can. Not only can I, I want to. It is time for us to move beyond the self-centered, me first attitude that so often prevails in our culture today. It is time to realize that we are all traveling down the road. And, as the people before us have reached out a hand to help us along, so must we do the same for them.

And, so, today I celebrate a new day !!

2008-10-31T16:56:00.002-04:00

I used to be afraid to spend time alone. I always hadthe television or radio on so I wouldn't have to be alone with my thoughts. I've now come to cherish the time I have with me. I love the solitude and quiet.

I came across the following poem today:

Do not be afraid to embrace the arms
of loneliness.
Do not be concerned with the thorns
of solitude.
Why worry that you will miss something?
Learn to be at home with yourself
without a hand to hold.
Lean to endure isolation
with only the stars for friends.
Happiness
comes from understanding unity.
Love
arrives on the footprints of your fear.
Beauty
arises from the ashes of despair.
Solitude
brings the clarity of still waters.
Wisdom
completes the circle of your dreams.

- Nancy Wood

2008-10-30T09:58:00.002-04:00

Be Open to Outcome, Not Attached to Outcome

Angeles Arrien, PH.D. is an anthropologist, author, educator and corporate consultant who has studied indigenous populations around the world. Her work reveals four archetypal patterns that lead to greater peace and balance in life. Each has a motto by which to live.

The principle that guides the Teacher, one of the four, is "Be open to outcome, not attached to outcome" According to Arrien the Teacher has wisdom and teaches trust, and understands the need for detachment.

In these challenging economic and political times, the way of the teacher is an important lesson for me. Day in and day out I see people; clients, friends, colleagues, and me struggling to remain calm and find some sense of balance as the world changes around us. It can be, a scary time.

I find peace when I step back and contemplate the way of the Teacher. Leaning on wisdom, trust and detachment during these times reminds me that there is a bigger picture that I can't see. I am reminded to have faith. And, along with faith, to do my part to contribute and be part of the solution, rather than part of the problem. I step back and ask myself, or even better my higher power, for guidance as to the next right step that I can take. I may not be able to see the whole solution but if I do the next right thing and stay open to what the outcome may be, I am able to maintain peace and continue to move forward in life in a way that is of service to myself and the people around me.

2008-10-29T15:34:00.003-04:00

With the economy such as it is, business has slowed down. I have a little more time on my hands to write.

I have spent a lot of time recently thinking about mid-life transition and what it means. Authors such as Robert Johnson and Kathleen Brehony have written extensively about it. I highly recommend Brehony's book, Awakening at Midlife. I am thinking about it more because I am there. I recently turned 41. I find myself asking myself a lot of questions about what is important in life. Its an exciting time. And, at times scary. This period of ones life often means change, change can be scary.

I came across the following passage by the poet Robert Bly. I like it because it describes what happens to us as children and why a midlife transition is necessary.

When we were one or two years old we had what we might call a 360-degree personality. Energy radiated out from all parts of our body and all parts of our psyche. A child running is a living globe of energy, all right; but one day we noticed that our parents didn't like certain parts of that ball. They said things like: "Can't you be still? Or "It isn't nice to try and kill your brother." Behind us we have an invisible bag, and the part of us our parents don't like, we, to keep our parents love, put in the bag. By the time we go to school our bag is quite large. Then our teachers have their say; "Good children don't get angry over little things." So we take our anger and put it in the bag. By the time my brother and I were twelve in Madison, Minnesota, we were known as "the nice Bly boys." Our bags we already a mile long.

2008-10-28T17:25:00.002-04:00

We shall not cease from exploration

And the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time.

T. S Eliot, Four Quartets

Little Gidding, 1942

2008-10-27T15:05:00.002-04:00

It's been a while since I've written anything. I go through periods of time when I am too caught up in the daily work to sit and reflect. This is one of the great challenges of leadership and life in general today. We spend so much time running from task to task, project to project that we rarely take time to reflect on where we are going - we end up running in circles.

I started with a new client last week. She is a single mother of two young children as well as a busy executive. She works hard to hold both her personal and professional life together. When I asked her about time for herself she laughed....she said if she didn't laugh, she would cry. At the end of our first session I challenged her to find something small that she could do for herself between our sessions. Through our conversation she realized that in the busyness of her life she had aborted her spiritual practice. She committed to finding time for it in the coming week. When I checked in with her on Friday she reported that she had indeed turned off the TV 30 minutes early each night - after the kids went to bed - and sat quietly reflecting on the day and on what was important to her. The result of doing so was a better nights sleep which resulted in more energy during the day and feeling better about herself.

Sometimes we have to go back to the basics. When life gets busy we want to create elaborate plans for fixing what we think is broken when in fact, if we just step back and find the simple things which are relatively easy to do, the bigger things take care of themselves.

2008-09-29T16:28:00.002-04:00

True, authentic leadership begins with self awareness. Until we understand who we are as a human being, we can't understand who we are as a leader. The following passage offers a great description of coming to know who we are.

Peeling Back the Onion from True North by Bill George

Knowing yourself can be compared to peeling back the layers of an onion as you search for your true self. The outer layers of the onion are the only visible ways you present yourself to the world - how you look, your facial expressions, your body language, your attire, and the way you express yourself. Often these layers are rough and hardened in order to protect you from the assaults of the world around you.

Understanding your outer layers is a necessary first step to going deeper into what lies beneath, because the provide access to your inner core. Beneath those outer layers resides your understanding of your strengths and weaknesses and what you need and desire from the world around you.

Peeling the onion further, you gain an understanding of your values and the ways in which experiences often put you in conflict with your values. Digging still deeper, you learn what is driving and motivating you. Underneath these layers of your proverbial onion lies your understanding of your life story and of the way in your experiences build your story and create a mosaic of your life. As you approach the deepest layers surrounding your inner, you find the blind spots and your vulnerabilities. At the core of your being is what you believe and how you envision your place on earth.

As you explore who you are, you peel back one layer only to discover a deeper and often more interesting layer underneath it. As you get nearer to your core, you find that the inner layers feel quite tender and vulnerable because they have not been exposed to the assaults of the outside world. When you do not feel in a safe place, you cover your core to protect it from exposure and harm, and you develop a false self. At the same time you are continually growing, adding new layers of complexity, as you develop ways of interfacing effectively with the world while preserving the integrity of your core self.

2008-09-17T17:49:00.004-04:00

The Invitation
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

2008-09-17T17:49:00.002-04:00

I flew to New York yesterday to do a speaking engagement. I was incredibly excited about the opportunity, I love being in front of an audience and sharing my message about leadership and taking responsibility for creating the life you want to live or the business you want to lead.

Due to a variety of reasons the night didn't quite go as I had planned. The acoustics in the room were off making it difficult for people to hear. I left feeling as though I had missed the mark and not connected with the audience. I was sad and dissapointed. Imagine my surprise this morning when I received the following e-mail from one of the participants.

I just wanted to say that I really was so encouraged, I would even dare say inspired, after hearing you speak last night. I have felt for a long time that life has controlled me and not vice versa. It was so eye opening to realize (once again) that our lives, and the paths we choose, are in our control…even though on some level we already know that. It was very refreshing, albeit somewhat unsettling to see how off-center we really are....I even signed up to take the next course on my ongoing voyage toward my CKD certification today, a direct result of your positive influence!

Carrie Brandstrom
Furniture Designer/Projects Manager
Mica Elegance/Elegant Interiors
Innovative Wholesale

Carrie's message touched me. It also reminded me that we are touching people even at times even when we feel like we aren't.

Thanks Carrie for the reminder.

2008-09-12T10:57:00.002-04:00

Sail forth-steer for the deep waters only,

Reckless O Soul, exploring, I with thee,

and thou with me,

For we are bound where mariner has not yet

dared to go,

And we will risk the ship, ourselves and all.

O my brave soul!

O farther farther sail!

O daring joy, but safe! and they are not all seas

of God.

Walt Whitman

2008-09-11T09:53:00.002-04:00

I have become fascinated by the intersection of leadership and spirituality lately. Separate from any formal religious structure or belief system, there is a unifying force, body, entity, higher power or God that connects us all. This energy calls to us and challenges us to step outside of ourselves in order to be of service to the world around us.

While researching this topic this morning, I stumbled upon the following site.

http://www.truenorthleaders.com/speaking_willow_creek.html

This is a speech by Bill George, author of True North.

While George is clearly christian, I encourage readers of any form of spirituality to read it. The message has importance well beyond christian circles.

2008-09-06T09:10:00.003-04:00

When it's over, I want to say; all my life

I was a bride married to amazement.

I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it's over, I don't want to wonder

if I have made of my life something particular, and real.

I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,

or full or argument.

I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.

- Mary Oliver

2008-09-03T16:48:00.004-04:00

This is my favorite time of year. It always has been. When I was young, I looked forward to the excitement of returning to school, meeting news friends and exciting new adventures. That same sense of renewal and energy hasn't left as I've reached adulthood. The slow down at the end of the summer allows me to step back, rest, rejuvenate, and prepare to reap the harvest of the fall.

Anthropologist Angeles Arrien, PH.D, author of The Four Fold Way describes the autumn as the time of the teacher. This is a time to be open to outcomes, not attached to fixed ideas about how things should look. The teacher she says, has wisdom, teaches trust and understands the need for detachment.

What does this mean for me? It means that as I move into fall I do so with a sense of wonder and excitement about what will come. While I am prone to wanting things to work out exactly as I want them to, I realize that sometimes there is master plan out there to which I am not privy. The lesson for me from Dr. Arrien is to be open to what may come and to let go, detach, from my rigid ideas of how things should be.

"I have just three things to teach; simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures. Simple in actions and in thoughts, you return to the source of being."

- Lao Tzu , Tao Te Ching (Mitchell)

2008-08-30T09:27:00.004-04:00

The dog days of summer are coming to an end. August is usually a slow time for me. This year, like others, I took advantage of the fact that Washington DC empties out this time a year and got away. After visiting with family in Detroit I drove west to Saugatuck/Douglas, Michigan. I've never been to that part of the country before. It was amazing.

The beaches of Lake Michigan are undeveloped and natural with soft white sand, wild beach grass and amazing sunsets.

Spending time in nature, in a quiet place like this allows me to reflect. I don't typically realize, until I am there for a few days, just how much tension I hold inside as I move throughout a typical day. Meditating on the beach each morning, allowed me to hear the small voice inside me - the voice, which has guided me through the years but also the one I often drown out in the busyness of life.

As I return to my world and as life resumes its normal pace, I am reminded to take time to slow down and make time for me to connect to the deepest, wisest part of me. It is in doing so, that I am called forth to be the best person I can be. I find the places where I can serve the world around me. It is from there that leadership arises.

2008-08-10T06:28:00.004-04:00

People sometimes ask me why I do what I do or what I love about it. I received the e-mail below from a client I worked with a few years ago. Her dream was to move to Italy and start a business. There is nothing more amazing and inspiring to me than to watch someone overcome their own internal barriers and begin to live the life they always dreamed of.

With her permission I am posting her e-mail.

You cannot believe how incredible it is to be living our dream. My husband Michael and I are still in awe everyday that we are here, doing what we once dreamed about, and now it's a reality. Besides just living here, our tour business has taken off like wild fire. We've been booked solid since April, and are already booking into 2009! How amazing is that?? We are having so much fun every day, and getting paid for it! It's the best gig in the world !!

I get people every day asking me if I am writing a book, that they will be waiting for it to come out. All of our tour clients want to know how we did it, what made us decide to actually move, how did we get up the courage to do something so risky. You once told me you thought there might be a book in me someday-- you were right. I'm now working on notes, with a goal to have a book completed next year.

You've changed not one life but two over here!!

Ciao,
Karen

2008-08-02T09:23:00.002-04:00

I decided to post the picture of me sky diving. I did this a number of years ago when I felt as though I was playing it safe in life. Sky diving is a great metaphor for stepping out of our comfort zones and facing our fears. This was a life changing experience for me. Now, whenever I find myself afraid to do something in life or business, I look at this picture and remind myself to take the leap !!

2008-07-22T14:05:00.002-04:00

This months newsletter was inspired by a good friend who is struggling with making a big change in his life. He more or less knows that the change is needed but he is afraid to take action. He is stuck in his comfort zone.

Comfort zones are interesting places to be. We settle into them when things are good. They feel familiar, comfortable, and safe. We generally know how to act and what to expect when we are in them. The problem is, if we stay there too long we stop growing. And, if we stop growing for too long, we start to "devolve" - a phenomenon in nature known as entropy.

Client after client come to me complaining that their work is no longer challenging, interesting or exciting. They are bored they say - they want something new. This is a sure sign that people are stuck in a comfort zone.

Comfort zones can be good when we stay there for a little while. They provide an opportunity to nurture ourselves and recharge our batteries. However the day will come when we need to step to the edge and face the fears that await us as we take on new adventures. This is where growth happens and we come alive.

2008-07-14T13:53:00.003-04:00

As we head into the presidential election here in the US - questions of leadership loom large. What does it take to be a good leader? What does good leadership look like? Who is best suited to lead the country?

As we here in the U.S. debate these questions one of the world's greatest moral leaders turns 90 years old this year. Time Magazine has published an article on Nelson Mandela and his 8 lessons of leadership. Mandela is a great role model for leaders of all kinds. In the article the author says, "Mandela's rules are calibrated to cause the kind of trouble that forces us to ask how we can make the world a better place."

The characteristics he exhibits as a leader have value for us all as we approach our day to day life.

Here are his 8 lessons on leadership. For the full text, see the July 21st issue of Time.

No. 1: Courage is not the absence of fear - it's inspiring others to move beyond it

No. 2: Lead from the front - but don't leave your base behind

No. 3: Lead from the back - and let others believe they are in front

No. 4: Know your enemy - and learn about his favorite sport

No. 5: Keep your friends close - and your rivals even closer

No. 6: Appearances matter - and remember to smile

No. 7: Nothing is black or white

No. 8: Quitting is leading too

2008-06-21T08:20:00.002-04:00

I am reading a powerful book called Soulcraft by Bill Plotikin. It is about the answering the call of our soul and doing the personal work to which we are called in order to understand the work our soul wants to do in the world. He uses many poems throughout the book. The previous postings here contain a few. Here is another:

...Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.

There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.

The dark will be your womb
tonight.

The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.

You must learn on thing.
The world was made to be free in.

Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.

Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn

anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive

is too small for you.

- David Whyte

2008-06-19T10:46:00.004-04:00

Self actualizing people are, without one single exception, involved in a cause outside their own skins, in something outside of themselves. They are devoted, working at something which is very precious to them - some calling or vocation in the old sense, the priestly sense. They are working at something which fate has called them to somehow and which they work at and which they love, so that the work-joy dichotomy in them disappears.

- Abraham Maslow

2008-06-18T09:58:00.002-04:00

It doesn't interest me if there is on God
or many gods.
I want to know if you belong or feel
abandoned.
If you know despair or can see it in others.
I want to know
if you are prepared to live in the world
with its harsh need
to change you. If you can look back
with firm eyes
saying this is where I stand. I want to know
if you know
how to melt into the fierce heat of living
falling toward
the center of your longing. I want to know
if you are willing
to live, day by day, with the consequence of love
and the bitter
unwanted passion of your sure defeat.

I have heard, in that -fierce embrace, even
the gods speak of God.

- David Whyte

2008-06-13T17:26:00.003-04:00

Werner Erhard is one of the most influential thinkers in the human potential movement. He is the founder of est. While controversial, his work has influenced many thinkers. Here is an article he wrote:

Purpose and Aliveness - By Werner Erhard

The only two things in our lives are aliveness and patterns that block our aliveness. As patterns are experienced out, our lives become clearer. Things begin to make more sense. What we do makes more sense.

It’s funny, but when the alive you emerges from behind the smokescreen of all those patterns and begins to participate in life directly, life really does have purpose. It all somehow makes sense, in a fantastic way.

When you get rid of the blocks, what you have is aliveness, and when the blocks are gone, purpose emerges. There is no use searching externally for purpose, or trying to "pull it in." It is already there. Just focus on clearing out what is between you and aliveness, so every time we create greater aliveness, the purpose is being served.Aliveness and purpose are practically the same thing. The purpose is greater aliveness, so every time we create greater aliveness, the purpose is being served.

As more and more of us get to see that the purpose is greater aliveness, it happens that all of us start to do the same thing – we start serving the purpose. Life comes on to us in our own terms, and so does the opportunity to serve.

That everyone is serving the purpose in a different way does not mean that everyone is doing something different. That’s the illusion. We do the same thing in different ways. As each of us makes our part of the whole really work, the purpose is being served.

The purpose is life and that it be, completely.
The commitment is: aliveness
So what!

2008-06-09T16:20:00.002-04:00

I am thinking in terms of metaphors a lot these days. This weekend was no exception.

I had an old rusty grill on my deck. Its been sitting there for a long time waiting for me to do something about it. I wanted it gone but, for the longest time I wouldn't take action. I finally decided that it was time to do something, I became willing to do something about it.

My first inclination was to be impulsive and toss it over the edge of the deck. This would have been quickest but probably the least effective and most painful method. Causing damage not only to the grill but to everything around it. I decided, that the best way to get rid of the grill was to disassemble it and take it down one piece at a time. While it took longer, the end result was better.

This reminds me of so many aspects of my life that require work. Whether it is dealing with some less than stellar character trait or something more mundane like paying off a credit card. I want the problem gone but am often unwilling to look at it honestly and take action. Then, when I finally do become willing, I want it over with quickly. I often make rash decisions rather than going about dealing with the problem in a slow, steady, methodical manner.

Somethings in life take time and can't be rushed. What I am learning and try to remind my clients all the time is to focus on the next right thing to do, rather than trying to climb the whole mountain at once. Life is a marathon, not a sprint.

2008-06-02T11:30:00.002-04:00

If we're willing to give up hope that insecurity and pain can be exterminated, then we can have the courage to relax with the groundlessness of our situation. This is the first step on the path.

- Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart

As I read the above quote, I was reminded of how much time and energy we spend trying to take care of my insecurities and pain. There are a multitude of ways that we try to escape the unpleasantness, boredom, or pain of a situation. We immediately want to numb it or run away from it. Yet, that never really helps. I was with a friend this weekend who found himself in an embarrassing situation. As he considered the myriad of ways to cover up or hide the situation he was left with one inarguable fact, he could never really hide it from himself. And, as long as he lied to others about it, he only compounded the problem. He simply wanted to run away from the pain.

After a lot of thought and much discussion he decided to tell the truth and make an amends to some people, in doing so, his emotional pain began to subside. It didn't go away, but brought into the light of day, rather than hidden, he could see that it wasn't as scary as he thought. He was able to achieve a greater level of peace and freedom from the situation.

And so, I am reminded that no matter how hard I try I can't really escape the pain. My best solution, regardless of whatever area of life, is to turn and face it head on. In doing so, I reclaim my power, my dignity, my peace and my freedom.

2008-05-29T14:01:00.001-04:00

A quote:

"Personal mastery means approaching one's life as a creative work, living life from a creative as opposed to reactive viewpoint."

-Peter Senge

2008-05-26T19:16:00.002-04:00

I went kayaking today. I've never done it before and I have to admit when it was first suggested to me my first instinct was to say no. I could have made up all kinds of reasons to not go:

"I don't know how to do it"
"I don't like it"
"I'm too busy"

The list could go on but you get it. Something inside me said to do it anyway.

I did.

And, I loved it.

It was a gorgeous day here in DC so just being out on the Potomac River paddling alongside the nations capital was beautiful. As I floated along, feeling a deep sense of contentment and joy I was struck by how many other opportunities for such fulfillment I miss because I am afraid or at least reluctant to step outside of my comfort zone. While rowing there were dozens of little moments which served as metaphors for how we live our lives. I had a tendency to over correct when i went off course rather than gently bringing myself back, I worked much harder than I had to, even when the current was going my way, when things started to go wrong, I panicked and moved faster rather than slowing down and breathing....there were many more.

So, it was a great day. One that could have been like any other but instead was filled with fun, adventure and learning. It all happened outside of my comfort zone.

2008-05-19T14:26:00.003-04:00

I received word that a long time friend and member of my community died suddenly of a heart attack this morning. He was 44 years old. As I sit here and write, I am aware of the shock that I feel at his passing. There is a hole in my community. There is an empty seat at our table today that will never be filled in the same way again. I am very sad.

To Dave...I will miss you. While we weren't the closest of friends you were always there when I needed you. The times I reached out to you, you reached back quickly with help. You were a stabilizing force for me at a time when I needed it - I never thanked you or let you know how much it meant to me. So my friend, thank you. I trust that you are looking down on us, comforting us, and smiling in the gregarious, mischievous way you always did.

To my fellow community members. Let us to come together and care for one another. Let us come together strengthen our community during this time of need. That's what we've done in good times and now so again when we need one another. Some of us are closer to one another than others, and right now that doesn't matter. Let us to set aside our differences and focus on supporting Dave's partner, family, and close friends.

And to the reader not directly connected to me or to this situation. Thank you for listening and being there to "hear" my story and help me grieve. Also remember, life is short. Take time to let the people you love know how much you love them. Love yourself as well. Live today to the fullest and reach out to those in need. It is easy to forget how interconnected and interdependent we are. It is at times like this that I am forced to remember.

2008-05-10T09:26:00.002-04:00

"Don't leave before the miracle happens"

This line was said to me during a particularly challenging time in my life. I was working hard towards a goal I had set but it didn't look like I was going to make it. I was tired of working hard, frustrated, and angry. I wanted to give up. I was telling someone about where I was when he said..."Hang in there, don't leave before the miracle happens." Each time I wanted to give up, that line rang through my ears so I kept going. Guess what? The miracle happened. I reached the goal and felt great about what I had achieved. Most importantly, I grew through the process and now know that I have what it takes to work through the next challenge.

A client called this week frustrated because business was taking off as quickly as he would like. He felt as though he had just about reached his limit and was ready to give up. I reminded him that the test of a true leader isn't how he handles things when they are going well. The true test is how he handles things when they are hard. Then I thought of my wise friend and said, "Don't leave before the miracle happens"

2008-04-27T14:54:00.003-04:00

I have recently had a number of people - clients, friends, colleagues - talk to me about being happy when they get "there" or acknowledging that they aren't "there" yet. Whenever I hear this I am curious about where "there" is? Is there some "there" to which we are all striving? Some endpoint which we hope to achieve?

I know I can fall into the trap of thinking that when I have worked hard enough, studied enough, read the right books, then I will be "done." Somewhere in my mind I at times think there is an endpoint to this journey and when I get "there" I will be happy, peaceful, fulfilled, and content.

Deep down, I know better. Life and growth is a journey for which there is no endpoint.

I came upon the following passage this morning in the book, The Spirituality of Imperfection by Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketcham:

In seeing life as a pilgrimage, the vision that is spirituality's open-endedness recognizes that it is not how far one has come that is significant, but how far one has to go....The pilgrimage image suggests that the goal of this particular journey known as life is not to prove that we are perfect but to find some happiness, some joyful peace of mind in the reality of our own imperfection. Rather than thinking, "If I'm not farther along that I was yesterday, somethings wrong with me,"the pilgrim thinks, "I'm in a different place from where I was yesterday, and isn't this interesting?" In this realization, in this kind of looking forward from where you are (no matter where that happens to be), resides the classic virtue of hope. Hope is born while facing the unknown and discovering that one is not alone.

2008-04-13T15:10:00.003-04:00

As I mentioned in a previous posting, I am going through a lot of change. Some days it is easy, other days it is hard. Its like I am walking across a bridge from an old way of being to a new one. Sometimes it is exciting, other times it is scary.

A friend was telling me a story this morning about being out on his motorcycle and getting caught crossing a bridge in a rain storm. He talked about how afraid he was because he could hardly see where he was going. He had to slow way down to get across successfully.

A light bulb went off for me.

As I am going through this change, at times, I want to rush to get to the other side. I don't always know where I am going yet I tell myself if I work faster or harder I will get through it more quickly. Doing so only increases the discomfort that I feel. What I most need to do is slow down and take my time. Rather than rush and work harder, I need to surrender to the change process and keep taking one step at a time. Slowly and steadily I will cross the bridge successfully.

2008-04-10T14:07:00.003-04:00

I've been thinking a lot about change lately. I've made some fairly big changes in my life over the past few months. They are positive and have, in a very short time, had a dramatic positive impact on almost every aspect of my life. The changes have been hard at some times and easy at others. Recently, I have had a number of seemingly conflicting feelings swirling around inside of me. At times I am happy other times sad. There are moments when I feel at complete peace then a short time later feel anxious and afraid.

My education tells me, and I have always understood intellectually, that these emotional swings are normal as part of any change process. I talk to clients about it all the time. I tell them to be prepared to feel really happy and excited as they start to see what they want coming true but at the same time expect to feel some sadness as they let go of aspects of themselves that no longer work for them.

And while I can talk to clients about this, it is different to experience it and to really allow myself to feel it. It is hard sometimes. I try to escape the feelings, distract myself or rush the experience. What I know to be true is that none of these things work. What works for me, and I have seen work for others, is to be gentle with me. Rather than beating up on myself or trying to run away from what I am feeling I allow the feelings to move through me. I talk to people about what is going on for me and I trust that, like everything, this too shall pass.

As leaders, we need to be aware of the impact of change on ourselves and those around us. Whether we are making changes in our organization, family or just ourselves, we need to be connected to what we are feeling so that the feelings don't hijack us and cause us to act out in ways that undermine what we are trying to accomplish.

2008-04-02T10:21:00.005-04:00

I've felt a strong desire to sit and write lately. I've spent a lot of time reflecting over the past few months - my sense is that my thinking is starting to coalesce around some ideas that now want to be expressed. Or, I just need to get the stuff bouncing around in my head out so I can make room for more. Either way, here I am at the keyboard banging away.

Someone asked me last night what leadership meant to me. I spend a lot of time thinking, reading and talking about leadership yet when I am asked that question, I inevitably stumble for words. What I realize now as I sit here and write is that what leadership looks like depends on the context, setting or situation. The enduring aspect of leadership, the part that is consistent across all areas, is the "being" of leadership.

I am being "leader-like":

if I am living in integrity with myself in all my affairs

if I live authentically and empower others to do the same

if I am serving others while at the same time taking care of my own needs

if I embrace my humanness - both the light and dark aspects - and allow others to do the same

if I makes mistakes, learn from them, and celebrate them as part of me becoming the best human being I can be

I could go on but will stop there for now.

A dear friend sent me the quote below last week. I heard it years ago, it is one of my favorites. In fact, it changed my life. I am excited to share it with you:

Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson from A Return to Love

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

2008-03-25T23:28:00.004-04:00

Greetings once again from Puerto Vallarta – the picture to the right is of me sitting on the back terrace while the sun sets over the bay. The views are spectacular.

As I said in my last posting, while I am here to celebrate a friend’s birthday I have also considered this trip a personal/spiritual retreat. As with any such retreat, it has had it challenging moments. I have come face to face with myself and some habitual reactions to things that no longer work for me. I purposely have thrown myself out of my comfort zone in a number of ways in order to learn about myself and expand my ability to handle such situations in the future.

So what have I learned?

I have learned:

the power of gratitude and how important it is to be grateful for what I have in my life.
the importance of asking for help when I need it and allowing myself to receive
it is important to take care of myself while I am challenging myself
that hidden within every challenge is an opportunity for growth if I am open to it
learning might not always come in the form that I want but will always come in the form that I need

I head home on Thursday. I look forward to applying these lesson's to my daily life.

2008-03-22T13:51:00.000-04:00

Greetings from Puerto Vallarta!! I am here to celebrate a friend’s 40th birthday. I came in a day early so I could have some time to myself. I am writing to you from the roof top of the villa I rented for the night. I will move to the house where I will stay with my friends later today. The picture to the right is what I currently see. The moon is still up, reflecting on the water while the sun rises behind me. There is a rooster crowing in the background and the waves are hitting the beach sending their rhythmic noises echoing off the hills behind me. All around birds are calling to one another. This moment is why I came down early – so I could have this moment for me.

When I first sat down to write I thought I would share with you all of the challenges I had getting here. Nothing really all that unusual, just the usual hassles that accompany flying on a busy holiday weekend. Then I realized, those moments are in the past, why re-live them, when I have the present and the present is alive and vibrant, full of color, sounds, and smells that will never come together in the exact way they are right now. This moment is all I have. I want to live and experience it to its fullest.

In addition to celebrating my friend Adam’s birthday, this trip is a personal/spiritual retreat for me. It will be filled with meditation, yoga, reflecting, reading and writing. I look forward to sharing with you what I learn along the way. For now, I am going back to the solitude of my sunrise.

2008-03-19T06:21:00.003-04:00

This month's newsletter is about servant-leadership. This term has resonated with me since this first time I heard it and read any of Robert Greenleaf's work. "Service" and "Leadership" are two of my core values so a leadership model that combines them touches me deeply.

What's important about servant-leadership?

It's important because it takes the focus off of the leader and back on serving the people he or she is leading, where it belongs. It takes the ego out of leadership and makes it more about making a situation better for another person, community, organization, etc.

In my coaching practice I talk to clients about discovering how they want to serve the world. When we are able to find the intersection between our strengths, values, interests and some need in the world, we discover our opportunity to lead. It is where we can apply the best of ourselves to some problem that exists that we feel the most fulfilled and we serve the world around us.

I do want to clarify one point above, good leaders have a strong sense of themselves. They have healthy ego's. But, leadership isn't about feeding their ego in order to make them feel better about themselves. Instead it is about recognizing their strengths and being willing to use them to serve the world around them.

2008-03-12T17:52:00.002-04:00

The following is from the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu. The comments in the parentheses are mine.

The best way to live (and lead) is to be like water

For water benefits all things
and goes against none of them

It provides for all people
and even cleanses those places a man loath go

In this way it is like the Tao

Live (and lead) in accordance with the nature of things:
Build your house on solid ground
Keep your mind still
When giving, be kind
When speaking, be truthful
When ruling, be just
When working, be one-pointed
When acting, remember - timing is everything

One who lives (and leads) in accordance with nature
does not go against the way of things

He moves (and leads) in harmony with the present moment always knowing the truth of just what to do

2008-03-10T12:31:00.002-04:00

Recent, yet to be published research, has shown that the most developmentally evolved leaders all have some form of contemplative practice incorporated into their daily routine. What these great leaders have discovered is that connecting to oneself through writing in a journal, prayer, meditation, etc. connects them to a deep source of wisdom and strength.

Both meditation and "journaling" have been an important part of my daily routine for years. It is how I start every day. By doing so, I re-establish my connection with myself on a daily basis. I am centered as I step out into the events of the day. And, if I am pulled away from center by the events of the day, I don't have too far to go to get back. Were it not for this regular practice, each event of the day would pull me away from myself, this would occur over the course of each day so that after a few days, I am so far away from my core that I can't get back. I end of feeling lost and confused.

Author and spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle says in Stillness Speaks; "When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself, you lose touch with the world."

2008-03-05T16:36:00.001-05:00

“The smallest indivisible reality is, to my mind, intelligent and is waiting there to be used by human spirits if we reach out and call them in. We rush too much with nervous hands and worried minds. We are impatient for results. What we need … is reinforcement of the soul by the invisible power waiting to be used…I know there are reservoirs of spiritual strength from which we human beings thoughtlessly cut ourselves off…I believe we shall someday be able to know enough about the source of power, and the realm of the spirit to create something ourselves…”

Henry Ford

2008-03-03T08:46:00.000-05:00

What does the following poem by Nobel Laureate Wislawa Szymborska have to do with leadership?

A Contribution to Statistics

Out of a hundred people,

those who know better – fifty two,

doubting every step – nearly all the rest,

glad to lend a hand if it doesn't take too long – as high as forty nine,

always good because they can’t be otherwise – four, well maybe five,

able to admire without envy – eighteen,

suffering illusions induced by fleeting youth – sixty, give or take a few,

not able to be taken lightly – forty and four,

living in constant fear of someone or something – seventy seven,

capable of happiness – twenty-something tops,

harmless singly, savage in crowds – half at least,

cruel when forced by circumstances – better not to know even ballpark figures,

wise after the face – just a couple more than wise before it,

taking only things from life – thirty (I wish I was wrong),

hunched in pain, no flashlight in the dark – eighty-three sooner or later,

righteous - thirty-five, which is a lot,

righteous and understanding – three,

worthy of compassion – ninety-nine,

mortal – a hundred. Thus far this figure remains unchanged.

- Wislawa Szymborska

2008-02-28T16:01:00.001-05:00

As frequent readers will notice – many of my postings contain quotes from various books that I read. To some readers the connection between some of the information I post and leadership isn’t clear – others get it immediately. Rather than make the connection for you, I choose to throw the information out and allow you, the reader, to mull over how the topic, quote or idea relates to leadership.

What follows is an excerpt from the book Theory U by Otto Scharmer:

As the Japanese philosopher Kitaro Nishida has put it: “Knowledge and love are the same mental activity; to know a thing we must love it, to love a thing we must know it.” Love, he continues, “is the power by which we grasp ultimate reality. Love is the deepest knowledge of things.”

…love takes no position, as the author David Hawkins says. Love is global, he believes, and it rises above separation. “Love is unconditional, unchanging, and permanent. It doesn’t fluctuate – its source isn’t dependent on external factors. Love is a state of being….love isn’t intellectual and doesn’t proceed from the mind. Love emanates from the heart. It has the capacity to lift others and accomplish great feats because of its purity of motive.”

What does love have to do with leadership? I invite you to post your comments. I would love to hear from you and begin a dialog.

2008-02-25T17:57:00.000-05:00

I stumbled upon the following quote by Albert Einstein in Ken Wilber’s book, Essential Ken Wilber. Einstein says;

“A human being is part of a whole, called by us ‘Universe’; a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest – a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is kind of a prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison”

So, as leaders, what does it mean to free ourselves from the “delusion of consciousness” that Einstein describes? What if the thoughts we have and the feelings we experience are part of a larger collective force calling us to action?

Client after client come into my office talking about a deep yearning to accomplish something yet they talk themselves out of it. They tell themselves that the idea is stupid, too grand, too idealistic, too…..(you fill in the blank). I would argue that the feeling they are experiencing is their intuition. It is a calling from the universe as Einstein calls it, calling them to step up and out into leadership. And yet, like many of us they are afraid and instead of acting, tell the universe “no, not now….I’m not ready” thereby keeping themselves locked in our own private prison living lives of quiet desperation.

What about you? Are you answering the call?

My challenge to you is to listen or feel for the call and say “yes” be willing to follow it where it leads you.

2008-02-21T05:19:00.003-05:00

I used to be shy about talking about spirituality with my clients. What I have found recently however is that there is a hunger for it. The hunger may not always show up as someone saying to me, “I want more spirituality in my life” – instead people call me and want to talk about doing work that has deeper meaning, that serves others or that has a lasting impact in the world. This to me is a call to spirituality. It is the call we hear or the urge we feel that seems to come both from deep within ourselves and from a connection to something greater and outside of ourselves. The opportunity then for my client is to learn to create an open communication channel with that deepest part of themselves so that they can hear and respond to that call.

One of the ways I’ve established this channel is through daily meditation. Rather than share a lot of my own personal thoughts about meditation at this time, I will share with you an excerpt on the topic written by the philosopher Ken Wilber. The following passage is found on page 5 in the book; The Essential Ken Wilber:

There are ways to explain meditation, what it is, what it does, how it works. Meditation, it is said, is a way to evoke the relaxation response. Meditation, others say, is a way to train and strengthen awareness; a method for centering and focusing the self; a way to halt constant verbal thinking and relax the body-mind; a technique for calming the central nervous system; a way to relieve stress, bolster self-esteem, reduce anxiety, and alleviate depression.

All of those are true enough; meditation has been clinically demonstrated to do all those things. But I would like to emphasize that meditation itself is, and has always been, a spiritual practice. Meditation, whether Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, Taoist, or Islamic, was invented as a way for the soul to venture inward, there ultimately to find a supreme identity with Godhead. “The Kingdom of Heaven within” – and meditation, from the very beginning, has been the royal road to that Kingdom. Whatever else it does, and it does many beneficial things, meditation is first and foremost a search for the God within.

2008-02-17T15:11:00.005-05:00

I just finished reading the book Finding Freedom by Jarvis Jay Masters. The book is moving, life-affirming memoir written from San Quentin's Death Row. In the book Jarvis Masters traces his remarkable spiritual growth in an environment where despair and death are constant companions.

The passage that follows struck me because of the way Masters talks about the importance of reaching out and extending love and compassion to others, even in the most difficult of times.In the passage prior to the one below, Masters describes a moment when a murder has just taken place on the prison grounds. He and the other inmates were forced to lay face down on the ground while the prison was secured. He says...

Just as I though my head would explode from so many flashing thoughts, I locked on to a single idea; how some people in this world have only a tragic five seconds to put their entire lives in order before they die - in a car crash or in some other sudden way. I realized that what really matters isn't where we are or what is going on around us, but what's in our hearts while it's happening.

I used to feel I could hide inside my (meditation) practice that I could simply sit and contemplate the raging anger of a place like this, seeking inner peace through prayers of compassion. But now I believe love and compassion are things to extend to others. It's a dangerous adventure to share them in a place like S.Q. Yet I see now that we become better people if we can touch a hardened soul, bring joy into someone's life, or just be an example for others, instead of hiding behind our silence.

The key is using what we know. This calls for lots of practice. There is this vast space in life to do just that, both as a practioner and as someone who walks around the same prison yard as everyone else in this place. I've learned how to accept responsibility for the harm I've caused others by never letting myself forget the things I did and by using those experiences to help others understand where they lead.

2008-02-14T11:15:00.002-05:00

The everyday practice is simply to develop a complete acceptance and openess to all situations and emotions, and to all people, experience everything totally without mental reservation and blockages, so that one never withdrawls or centralizes into oneself.

- Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche

2008-02-12T06:50:00.000-05:00

The "secret" of life that we are all looking for is just this; to develop through sitting and daily life practice the power and courage to return to that which we have spent a lifetime hiding from, to rest in the bodily experience of the present moment-even if it is a feeling of being humiliated, of failing, of abandonment, of unfairness.
-Charlotte Joko Beck

2008-02-11T05:30:00.000-05:00

When I started writing this blog I didn’t really know where it would go. Even today, rather than have some grand plan for it, I stay open on a day to day basis for what I want to share with you. I am never quite sure what will emerge. What I know is that if I listen deeply to the messages within me, I will find exactly the right words to say or the right passage to share.

I am a voracious reader. I read multiple books at one time. It would be more accurate to say that I study more than one book at a time. You will rarely see me reading without a pen in hand. I can’t lend my books to people because I have underlined and written in them so much. For me, each book I pick up is like a journey. I like to capture, reflect on and apply what I am learning along the way.

I started a powerful new book this weekend called Theory U – Leading From the Future as it Emerges by C, Otto Schramer from MIT. This powerful book presents a new way of approaching leadership and change. I am sure I will share more about it with you as I travel through its journey. For now, I want to share the following passage.

“All people effect change, regardless of their formal positions or titles…The real battle in the world today is not among civilizations or cultures but among different evolutionary futures that are possible for us and our species right now. What is at stakes is nothing less than the choice of who we are, who we want to be, and where we want to take the world we live in. The real question is ‘what are we here for?’

Our old world leadership is crumbling similar to the way the Berlin Wall crumbled in 1989. What’s necessary today is not only a new approach to leadership. We need to go beyond the concept of leadership. We must discover a more profound and practical integration of head, heart, and hand – of the intelligences of the open mind, open heart, and open will – at both an individual and collective level”

2008-02-08T05:15:00.000-05:00

Robert Quinn, author of books such as Deep Change - Discovering the Leader Within, Change the World, and Building the Bridge as You Walk On It, is one of my favorite authors on leadership. He stresses the necessity for leaders to look deep within themselves and risk making deep personal changes for the sake of having a positive impact on the world. He also stresses that by making these deep changes within ourselves, we choose to be alive.

Here is what he has to say. This is taken from Deep Change - Discovering the Leader Within

When people join the legions of the walking dead, they begin to live lives of "quiet desperation." They tend to experience feelings of meaninglessness, hopelessness, and impotence in their work roles, often taking on the role of "poor victim:...To turn this situation around, for the healing process to begin, people must engage in deep personal change - change that will only occur when people take active charge of their own lives...making deep personal change is not something we do for the organization; we do it for ourselves. It is a choice to be alive.

2008-02-06T09:36:00.000-05:00

I just finished reading A Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. I came upon it after hearing the minister at my church read from it. It is a little book written in the 1950's primarily for a female audience. The lessons it contains on simplicity, connecting to oneself, and connecting to others transcend both time and sex. While by no means explicitly a book about leadership I believe its message is essential for leaders if they are going to be truly effective and have an impact on the world.

Here is a passage on change that I read last night:

We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life...We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when only the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom...The only real security is not owning or possessing, not demanding or expecting, not hoping, even. Security...lies in neither looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present...and accepting it as it is now.

In what ways are you resisting the ebb and flow of life?

2008-02-05T15:57:00.000-05:00

" Service to others is the rent you pay for living on this planet"
- Marian Wright Edelman

Connecting with Yourself to Connect With Others

2008-02-03T21:08:00.000-05:00

Along the side of my blog are some pictures I've taken from trips to various places in the world. This past spring I felt as though I needed to get away so I rented a condo on a little island off the coast of Naples, Italy. I had never been on vacation alone so I was a bit nervous but excited none the less. It was one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had.

About the third day into the trip I was walking along the street in a little fishing town when I was overcome with this deep feeling of contentment, joy and gratitude. A warm feeling filled my body as if someone had poured warm liquid inside of me. I had sense of peace. I realized at the moment that I liked being alone and that I enjoyed my own company. The rest of my time there was spent deepening my connection with myself.

When I came home I was better able to connect with others. I realized that until we connect deeply with ourselves we can't connect deeply with others. As leaders connecting with others is essential. Therefore connecting with ourselves is even more important.

I found the following passage this evening in the book Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindberg:

"..It is not physical solitude that actually separates one from other men, not physical isolation, but spiritual isolation. It is not the desert island nor the stony wilderness that cuts you from the people you love. It is the wilderness of the mind, the desert wastes in the heart through which one wanders lost and a stranger. When one is a stranger to oneself the one is estranged from others too. If one is out of touch with oneself, then one can not touch others...Only when one is connected to one's own core is one connected to others...the core, the inner spring, can best be found in solitude."

What gets in the way of leadership

2008-01-31T16:22:00.000-05:00

What gets in the way of you being the best leader you can be whether that be in your own life or in the life of others?

For years I have sought out leadership roles whereever I could find them. I am drawn to and enjoy serving people in that way. For a long time however i was frustrated because i didn't feel like i was being as effective as i could be. I was what i would consider an inconsistent leader. One day i was focused on the cause and ready to go and at other times I was dissinterested and didn't want to be bothered. In those moments I became selfish and no longer wanted to serve. When that happened, I left the people around me confused. Trust in me started to errode.

It wasn't until I stopped and took a hard look at how I was living my daily life and how i was taking care of myself that i started to realize that some of the things I was doing which seemed seperate from the leadership roles I assumed, directly impacted my ability to lead. More accurately, some of the things I was doing directly underminded my leadership and prevented me from having the impact I wanted to have.

What about you? What are you doing or not doing that prevents you from being the best leader you could be?

Building a Personal Foundation

2008-01-28T22:15:00.000-05:00

I was struck once again today by the importance of building a solid foundation for oneself. As leaders, we need to have our feet planted on solid ground if we are going to withstand the resistance that comes with leadership. It doesn't matter who you are - a solid foundation is essential.

I was listening to a single mother of six kids talk tonight. She was talking about the challenges she faced in her role as mother. She explained how she can tell when she isn't "tending to her garden" to use her words because weeds start to grow. And, she went on to explain, that when they do, she can't effectively lead her family. She also explained that learning to tend to her garden or take care of her foundation isn't a one time and its done thing...its ongoing. She has to ask herself daily what she needs to keep herself solid so she can be solid and strong for the people who need her.

What about you? Does your garden need tending? What is it the builds your foundation?

2008-01-27T08:08:00.000-05:00

I ended my entry yesterday with a question about how the quote from Einstein pertained to leadership. I pondered the question throughout the day and listened for the answer.

As I was drifting off to sleep last night it came to me. When we open ourselves up to the connection between ourselves and others, we open ourselves up to "hearing" our call to leadership. It is within this connection between people - between us and the universe - that we sense the call to lead.

For me, the call shows up as visceral feeling of being pulled in a certain direction. At times I ignore the call. I try to push it away because my brain, my ego, tells me that what I am called to do is different from what I had planned. I get scared. In many cases the call means change. My ego doesn't like that.

And yet, when I follow it, when I am willing to allow myself be guided rather than trying to control things, I inevitably and lead to greater freedom, fulfillment. service and impact. That is leadership.

2008-01-26T09:21:00.000-05:00

"A human being is part of the whole called by us 'the universe,' a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something seperate from the rest - a kind of optical delusion of conciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening the circle of understanding and compassion to embrace all living cretures and the whole of nature in its beauty." - Albert Einstein

What does this have to do with leadership?

The Dangers of Leadership

2008-01-22T14:27:00.000-05:00

The following excerpt is from Leadership on the Line by Ronald A. Heifetz and Marty Linksy.

"To lead is to live dangerously because when leadership counts, when you lead people through difficult change, you challenge what people hold near and dear - their daily habits, tools loyalties, and ways of thinking - with nothing more to offer perhaps than a possibility. Moreover, leadership often means exceeding the authority you are given to tackle the challenge at hand. People push back when you disturb the personal and institutional equilibrium they know. And people resist in all kinds of creative and unexpected ways that can get you taken out of the game: pushed aside, undermined, or eliminated."

The Wine and the Cup

2008-01-17T21:54:00.000-05:00

The wine of divine grace is limitless:
All limits come only from the faults of the cup.
Moonlight floods the whole sky from horizon to horizon;
How much it can fill your room depends on its windows.
Grant a great dignity, my friend, to the cup of your life;
Love has designed it to hold His eternal wine.
Mathnawi

Mornings

2008-01-16T07:03:00.000-05:00

For those of you who don't know me, I am a morning person. I wake each morning, usually before the sun rises, and spend the first hour of the day reading some spiritual text. I currently am studying A Course in Miracles (www.acim.org). I follow my reading with meditation then writing in my journal - a practice I've now done for 25 years.

This time I spend each morning grounds me. It helps me make sure that I am connnected to the deepest, most powerful parts of myself as I head off into my busy day.

This morning I found myself wanting to extend the silence - loving the silence and peace of the morning.

I found the following quote by Leigh Mitchell Hodges:

"Whether one is twenty, forty or sixty; whether one has succeeded, failed or just muddled along; whether yesterday was full of sun or storm, or one of those dull days with no weather at all, life begins each morning!...Each morning is the open door to a new world - new vistas, new aims, new tryings."

How do you want to enter the door each day? Do you want to rush through the door anxious and fretting or do you want to step through the door grounded and centered?

Building a Solid Foundation

2008-01-15T20:55:00.000-05:00

I started a new client today.....through the course of our conversation I was reminded that solid leadership starts with being solidly grounded in ourselves. Until we create a solid foundation in our lives, connect to what's important to us, and make time for maintaining that connection, we can't effectively be the leader in our own lives. When we haven't built a solid foundation for ourselves, we aren't ready to lead our own lives and we can't lead others.

The starting place then of being a leader in your own life is building a solid foundation for growth and connecting to yourself.

How do you do that? Start with identifying the regular practices that keep you grounded and connected to you. For me these practices include; daily meditation, journaling and exercise. They also include eating healthy, getting plenty of rest, connecting with friends, and reading the newspaper. I can tell when I've missed too many days of doing these things, I start to feel anxious and unsettled. I also know that the way back to a more peaceful state is by putting these things back in place. Sometimes I have to overcome some resistance to doing so, even though I know doing them will help me, I get lazy. I have to push through the inertia. When I do, I feel better.

What are they for you?

Self-Knowledge

2008-01-15T09:03:00.000-05:00

Being a strong leader starts with knowing oneself. Until you know who you are and what you stand for, you can't effectively and positively lead others. Here are a couple quotes on self-knowledge from two of my favorite thinkers.

We should know what our convictions are, and stand up for them. Upon one's own philosophy, conscious or unconscious, depends one's ultimate interpretation of facts. Therefore it is wise to be clear as possible about one's subjective principles. As the man is, so will be his ultimate truth. - Carl Jung

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.
- Henry David Thoreau

Happy New Year

2008-01-14T21:32:00.000-05:00

I'm back. This is the first blog entry for the year. I intend to start a dialog here about spirituality and leadership.

The last year was a tough one for me. I went through a lot of personal change. Along with it came a lot of personal growth. I learned A LOT along the way. I will share what I've learned - and continue to learn - here with you on an ongoing basis.

Most importantly however as the year came to an end I realized that there is link between spirituality and leadership. I am now of the belief that when we connect with our spirituality/higher purpose/the universe (you choose the word that is most comfortable for you) we find our leadership. When we open ourselves to a connection to something greater than ourselves and quiet ourselves enough to listen, we will hear our call to action - our call to leadership. Our challenge then is to respond.

I can think of many times throughout my life when I heard the call and chose to ignore it. In fact, I am sure that it happens on a regular basis. I believe the call is always there, its just that most of the time we can't hear it because we surround ourselves with too many distractions or we ignore it because it doesn't fit into the plan we have for ourselves. Many times following the call means risking the status quo.

My challenge to you tonight is to make time to listen. Find some quiet time for reflection everyday. Turn off the TV, radio, cell phone, etc and learn to tune in to your version of the call. Let me know what you discover.

Leadership: Take Time to Energize

2007-02-02T15:11:00.000-05:00

Elizabeth is the executive director of a large non-profit organization that provides wide-ranging services to people in need. She and her staff work long hours to help their clients as effectively as possible, always trying to make the best use of limited resources. While she acknowledges that hard work and scarce resources are the way of the non-profit world Elizabeth admits that she feels increasingly overwhelmed. She accepts as fact that she will work herself to burnout then leave the organization.
Frank, a successful surgeon, is a popular, sought-after speaker at medical conferences around the world. He struggles to balance the challenges of his work with the demands of his family while trying to squeeze a little time for himself out of his tight schedule. Like Elizabeth, Frank has resigned himself to what he sees as the inevitable cost of his career. Living with exhaustion and fatigue is the price he has to pay for his success.
Kate is the mother of three small children. She works a part-time job, struggling to maintain her home, care for her kids, spend time with her husband, get enough exercise, and tend to her aging parents’ needs. Like Frank and Elizabeth, Kate resignedly accepts her situation the way it is. She feels powerless to change things.
Kate, Frank and Elizabeth find themselves in demanding situations. They sought coaching because they were tired. They want to make changes in their lives and their livelihoods but because they see so many others experiencing similar fatigue, exhaustion and burnout, they assumed they had to accept the status quo. They felt resigned that this is just the way things are.
A strong desire to serve the people around them drives Kate, Frank and Elizabeth. They are committed to doing their best and giving their all. Their intentions are good and their dedication is admirable. Their behavior, though, is incompatible with their goals; in fact, it is counterproductive. Each fails to see that a frantic lifestyle is not good for anyone.
Elizabeth’s staff, for example, looks to her as a role model. She sets the standard for their work methods. She stressed the importance of seeking balance in life and work, but her own life demonstrated a lack of balance. She talked the talk, but she did not walk the walk. As her staff modeled her behavior, they wore out quickly and failed to produce the desired high quality of their vitally needed services.
With coaching Kate, Elizabeth, and Frank were able to stop long enough to reflect on the consequences of their actions. Frank was able to re-connect to his goal to treat and help many patients over a long career. He sees now that he will not be able to achieve his goal if he continues to work at his current pace. He simply will not have the stamina. Kate was able to admit to how irritable she is with her family because of her pressured schedule, and to recognize the undesirable impact it has on her children. Elizabeth is learning to practice what she preaches.
Armed with their new awareness, all three are finding creative ways to live and work differently than before yet still make true, sustainable differences in people’s lives. Frank, Elizabeth and Kate each started small, but with every small success, they find the energy and the incentive to continue to change their lives for the better. They feel healthy and motivated, thus they can give more to the people and the organizations they lead.

Are you trying to give of yourself in spite of exhaustion and fatigue?
Are you exhausted to the point of questioning your ability to meet your goals?
Do the people around you sense your exhaustion?
How has your exhaustion affected the people you lead?

I challenge you to stop. Step back. Look for some small immediate change you can make to energize and to care for yourself. Now do it. Continue with other small, manageable changes. As you feel more energy you will find the motivation to look for new ways to overcome your resignation to situations you thought were inevitable.

Leadership: Being Open to Feedback

2007-01-18T10:11:00.000-05:00

Oftentimes leaders say they are eager for opinions about their performance. In many cases, they honestly do want it. Some say they are open to feedback, but their behavior says otherwise. People in leadership roles can find it challenging to go about getting honest feedback concerning their job performance. Many executives hire coaches and consultants like me to collect feedback anonymously from people who otherwise would be uncomfortable offering opinions. We, as neutral parties, can report what we learn without fear of reprisal.

Jerry, the deputy director of a large non-profit organization, told me that he is confident in his talent as a leader and is committed to improving his skill. During our first session, we decided to do a 360 assessment to step up his growth. We used an on-line survey tool to gather feedback from his boss, his peers, direct reporters, and his customers. Jerry was excited about the process and eager to hear what people had to say.

The feedback turned out not to be what Jerry expected; in fact, he did not like the results. Jerry assessed his leadership skills quite differently than the survey responders did. While he saw himself as open to other people’s ideas, the responders reported him to be autocratic and controlling. What Jerry saw as honesty and commitment to the growth of his staff and the organization came across to the feedback providers as arrogance and a tendency to be overly critical.

This assessment gave Jerry a significant growth opportunity, but, like many people who dislike the responses to their requests for comment, Jerry discounted the survey results. He told himself that the responders misunderstood the instrument, that they saw him inaccurately and that the results did not reflect his true leadership persona. He blocked his opportunity for growth by rationalizing away the unexpectedly negative feedback.

Receiving feedback, especially negative feedback that clashes with our self-perceptions, can be difficult. Frequently I hear leaders say they want honest feedback then see them react badly when they get it. Their negative reactions shut down the communications channels, thereby eliminating opportunities for future input. Some organizational cultures demonstrate such aversion to feedback regarding leaders that employees fear negative repercussions to frank expression of opinion, even when their responses are supposedly confidential. This type of feedback-adverse culture inhibits leaders’ and organizations’ progress and success.

Fortunately, Jerry spent some time thinking objectively about the information our survey produced. He worked through his initial response, moved beyond his bias and carefully evaluated the feedback. He learned to acknowledge it as constructive criticism even though he did not like it, and to recognize the growth opportunity it presented.

As Jerry opened himself up to hearing what others had to say about his job performance, he found ways to behave differently. Most importantly, his newfound understanding of his own reaction to the 360 process showed him how he had reacted similarly when people presented ideas that did not fit his way of doing things. Jerry realized that his behavior had created an environment that not only discouraged the honesty he claimed to want, but that in fact punished people whose methods clashed with his own.

Honest feedback provides leaders with valuable opportunities to grow. The more open we are to frank comment, the more quickly we grow. Remember, though, that not all feedback is necessarily valid. I tell clients it is like cooked spaghetti thrown against a wall: some strands stick and some do not. Take what constructive criticism is valuable for you and leave the rest behind, but be careful not to discard anything before you take time to consider it. If you react strongly against a piece of feedback, think carefully about that piece. It may have touched a nerve.

· Are you eager to hear honest feedback?
· Do you communicate this desire to the people around you?
· Are you open to the constructive feedback you receive?
· Do you become defensive when you hear honest feedback? Be honest with yourself.
· What changes will make it easier for you to hear feedback?
· Does your organizational culture encourage and reward honest feedback?
· Does your organizational culture make honesty difficult?
· What changes will make it easier for the people in your organization provide honest feedback?

Feedback is a gift you receive from the provider. Negative feedback rarely is easy to give, so even if you do not like what you hear, be sure to appreciate the giver’s honesty and to thank the person for being honest with you.

I am interested in your thoughts and comments about this article. Is it helpful? Why? Why not? Send your comments to me at Bill@PullenAssociates.com.

Please share this article with your colleagues. Encourage them to sign up for future articles by visiting http://www.pullenassociates.com/.

©2007, William J. Pullen, Pullen Associates

Leadership: Genuine Service or Ego?

2006-12-15T08:15:00.000-05:00

For about a year, I considered applying for a position on the board of a local non-profit organization whose mission I believe in deeply. I felt that my education, skills, and experience would help them. Eventually, I approached one of the board members and expressed my interest. I was excited at the prospect of being involved in good work; I could not stop talking about it. Two of my friends called board members to express their support for my involvement. Here was my chance to engage in community leadership and to honor my belief in the value of service.

The eagerly awaited call finally came. To my surprise and disappointment the caller said, “Well, we’re not sure you’re what we need on the board at this time.” There was more to the conversation but that sentence was all I heard.

My heart sank. I felt a knot in my stomach. For two days, my emotions bounced from sadness to anger to frustration. I knew this organization was in need of board members. I was offering my time and energy. How could they not want me? I am not pleased to admit that I found myself planning to withdraw the donation I had pledged to them. I began to plot my revenge.

Then it hit me.

My sadness and disappointment over the rejection of my application hijacked my good intentions. I stepped out of leadership. One minute I said I supported the organization’s mission. I wanted to help lead it into the future. The next minute I was ready to bring the organization down because of my wounded pride, my deflated ego. I made the prospective board membership about my ego rather than about the organization’s best interest.

Leadership is about service. It is about being a part of something bigger than we are. It is about contributing to the world around us. Leadership requires us to offer the best of ourselves to solve the problems we find in that world. Such leadership can and should be personally rewarding. When we make it about looking good, impressing others or meeting some ego-driven need, however, we serve an individual agenda. Thus, we fail to serve the common good. We risk undermining the good we want to do.

A word of caution: effective leadership does not require us to lose ourselves in service. A call to service is not a call to martyrdom. Leadership in the name of service requires that we take care of ourselves -- but that is a topic for another article.

· Think of your various leadership roles.
· Which of these roles do you perform in the name of service?
· Are there cases where you ought to check your ego?

If the answer to the last question is yes, do not abandon the leadership role. Step back and consider what you want to accomplish. Re-align yourself with your original good intention. Trust that you will know the best way to proceed once you have your ego in check.
I am interested in your thoughts and comments about this article. Is it helpful? Why? Why not? Send your comments to me at Bill@PullenAssociates.com.

Please share this article with your colleagues and encourage them to sign up for future articles by visiting http://www.pullenassociates.com/.

Leadership: Take Time to Be Grateful

2006-11-30T12:00:00.000-05:00

he holiday season is here. One of the best things about coaching during the holidays, especially at Thanksgiving, is the season’s unique opportunity to invite my clients to reflect with gratitude. During the weeks before and after Thanksgiving, I ask my clients to think about the things for which they are grateful. This year, for the first time, I connected this exercise to leadership.

Dave, a manufacturing company vice-president, is a member of his local town council who coaches his son’s soccer team. He leads a very busy life. Dave came to a recent coaching session overwhelmed by the effort to manage everything on his plate. He worries about dashing from task to task with no time to catch his breath. His fatigue and frustration increase with each complaint. He has run out of patience with co-workers, fellow council members and the little soccer players. At times, he wants to turn and run away from it all.

This telephone session took place the day before Thanksgiving. After Dave spoke about feeling so overwhelmed, we discussed which of his choices contribute to those feelings. Then I asked Dave what he is grateful for this year on Thanksgiving.

There was dead silence on the other end of the telephone. Then more silence, and then some more silence. I thought I had lost the connection.

Finally, Dave spoke up. Emotion evident in his voice, he responded, “My life.” He elaborated, saying that he is grateful for the opportunities life presents to him and for the opportunities he has created for himself. He loves his family, his work, his community. He is grateful for his talents and for the ways in which he is able to express these gifts.

A light had flashed on. Dave now realizes that while he runs around feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, and focusing on feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, he forgets to think about how much he values the things that keep his life full and busy. He really would not want things to be any different.

Dave’s new focus on gratitude has energized him. He has started to look for creative ways to do the things that are important to him while allowing time for himself. In a matter of seconds, with a simple refocus away from overload toward gratitude, Dave was able to rediscover his values and to reactivate his creativity as a leader.

Life’s myriad details, tasks and to-do lists trap us so easily. We quickly forget why we do what we do. We forget to take time for gratitude. When we forget to be grateful, we lose our connections to our authentic selves and to the things that are genuinely important to us.

We tend to gain more from those things that have our focus and attention. Take time each day to reflect on the things for which you are grateful. Encourage the people you lead to do the same. In so doing you will create a culture of support, growth and creativity.

What are you grateful for today?

I am interested in your thoughts and comments about this article. Is it helpful? Why? Why not? Send your comments to me at Bill@PullenAssociates.com.

Please share this article with your colleagues and encourage them to sign up for future articles by visiting www.PullenAssociates.com.

Leadership: Taking Responsibility for Our Choices

2006-11-07T15:58:00.000-05:00

I had dinner recently with my close friend, Sarah. She is a mid-level manager at a large technology firm. She is not happy at work, and she lamented her work situation during our meal. If “R & D” were smarter, she would be happy. If Sales would listen to her, she would be happy. If Management would connect to what is going on in the firm, she would be happy. If she did not have to commute every day for an hour each way, she would be happy.

The following day I had a similar conversation with a client. Janet is the CEO of a sizeable corporation. It is her team’s fault that she is overworked. Because of their incompetence, Janet is so busy that she has little time to spend with her family. She is out of shape because her workload leaves no time for exercise. If her team were better, the organization would be more profitable. Then the board would not come down so hard on Janet.

It happens to all of us. We realize that things at work or in some aspect of our personal lives are not going the way we want them to go. Deftly we find other people or outside circumstances to blame for our dissatisfaction. Thus, we avoid taking responsibility for personal choices that perpetuate the problems we face.

Shifting blame for our problems away from ourselves eliminates our need to take charge of our own lives. By blaming other circumstances or other people for our problems, we avoid taking responsibility in our jobs, in our families or in our communities. We abdicate leadership. We give our power away to the people or the organizations around us. Then we become frustrated when the results we want are not forthcoming. Having stepped out of leadership, though, we are powerless to make effective changes toward our goals.

We regain our power to affect change when we recognize that our choices, whether conscious or unconscious, and our actions create the circumstances around us. Although we will have to face the fears that come with change, it will be in recognizing that we have options that we will become empowered again. We will reclaim leadership.

Sarah can continue to be angry and dissatisfied with her work situation or she can choose to do something positive about it. Janet can choose to be frustrated because her team is not performing to her expectations or she can take action and change the team’s performance for the better. Each woman needs to choose. Either she is going to stand on the sidelines and be a victim or she is going to step up, claim responsibility and be a true leader.

It is not always easy to take responsibility for our choices and our behavior. Many times, in fact, it is quite difficult. As we reclaim accountability, though, we realize that we are capable of being effective leaders. We become the authors of own stories. We create our own destinies. This is the heart of what it means to be a leader.

In what area of your life do you abdicate responsibility?
What does it feel like?
What choices do you avoid making?
What actions do you need to take?

I am interested in your thoughts and comments about this article. Is it helpful? Why? Why not? Send your comments to me at Bill@PullenAssociates.com

How Does Your Fear of Failure Stop You

2006-10-25T09:06:00.000-04:00

I started leading a new project this week. This one is different from projects I have lead in the past. I was nervous. I wanted to succeed but I did not know exactly what to expect. I could not anticipate how the project would turn out. Although I knew I had the skills to do the job, I questioned myself. As the clients entered the meeting room, my heart raced and my palms began to sweat. Mentally I made excuses as to why taking on this project was a bad idea. I planned how I would tell the clients why I was the wrong person to lead the project. I wanted to run away.

Then something in my consciousness clicked. I realized that I was afraid to fail. I was prepared to step out of leadership because of this fear. I was ready to quit before I started because I felt afraid. Quitting would have been the greatest failure of all.

I took a deep breath. I focused not on the fear but on the project at hand, deciding to give it my best effort. I told myself that if I did fail, it would not be because I had run away.

This experience reminded me of what it feels like to retreat in the face of failure. Client after client comes into my office wanting to make a change in life. One wants to start something new in his family, another wants to lead an innovative plan at work. They stop in fear of what might happen if their efforts fall short of their expectations. They step to the edges of their comfort zones, look out, and then hesitate when they see beyond that edge to the possibility of not succeeding.

We all do it. We tell ourselves we want something, but when it comes to taking action to achieve the goal, we stop. We are afraid of what failure might mean to our images, our security, and our livelihoods. As leaders, we tell ourselves that we have to look good, be strong, stay smart, and seem competent to the people we lead. We tell ourselves that failure will undermine our ability to lead.

In reality, failure is our greatest opportunity for growth and learning. We rarely step back and reflect on our successes the way we evaluate our failures. When we fail at something, we lick our wounds and we take time to think about the valuable lessons this disappointment can teach us. Like a child learning to ride a bike, we are one rotation of the pedals closer to riding on our own after each fall. Out of failure, we learn to do things differently, better, more successfully the next time we try.

Whether raising a family, leading a team or running an organization, we deprive the people we lead of their chance to grow when we protect them from failure. The parent eventually has to let go of the bicycle seat and let the child fall so he can learn to ride. It is our responsibility as leaders to set boundaries, to provide guidelines, and to do what we can to support people’s growth and success. Sometimes this means letting people fail in order to help them to grow.

What do you avoid doing because you are afraid you might fail?
What is the risk associated with failing?
What is the risk associated with continuing to avoid it?
In what ways are you protecting someone else from failing?
What does your protection cost that person?

I am interested in your thoughts and comments about this article. Is it helpful? Why? Why not?

Actions Speak Louder than Words - by Bill Pullen, MCC

2006-10-09T09:42:00.000-04:00

Actions Speak Louder than Words

If you want to know what people are committed to, pay attention to what they do, not to what they say.”

I wish I could claim authorship of that line. I do not know who wrote it, but it is worth repeating:

“If you want to know what people are committed to, pay attention to what they do, not to what they say.”

It happens to all of us. We say one thing, and then take actions that directly contradict what we say. During a speaking engagement last week a woman in my audience said that she wanted to lose weight and to live a healthy lifestyle. When I asked her what actions she was taking in that direction, she said none. She confessed that she goes home from work and watches television for hours each day. How committed do you think she is to getting what she wants? In some cases, we ourselves are the only ones who suffer from our failure to live up to our words. In many other cases, our failure affects the people around us.

John, a gregarious middle-aged man, had an extensive social network. Many people liked him and considered him a close friend. His friends were comfortable confiding in him because they believed he would treat their confidences with discretion. John felt good knowing that his friends trusted him so much.

Unfortunately, though, John often broke his promises of discretion. While he said he would keep friends’ confidences to himself, he did not always do so. He developed the reputation of a gossip. His cherished friends no longer trust him. They stopped sharing personal matters with him because what he said was inconsistent with the way he acted. John taught his friends to doubt his integrity. As they learned this lesson, he began to question his own trustworthiness.

I see repeated examples of such breaches of integrity. Clients tell me about similar situations causing conflicts in families, in church groups and in organizations. Almost all of us can recall having had this kind of experience. A breakdown of integrity causes loss of trust. Loss of trust causes reticence, unwillingness to communicate, which in turn undermines relationships. We naturally want to avoid this kind of threat to our friendships and professional associations. We have to “walk the walk” rather than simply “talking the talk.” As we take more care to “practice what we preach”, we become that much more trustworthy.

In what ways do your actions contradict your words?
How do these contradictions affect you?
How do they affect others?
What steps can you take to rebuild your personal and inter-personal integrity?

Remember, we are all human. We all make mistakes. Our goal is to become aware of our mistakes. Once aware, we must act quickly to correct any negative effects our behavior has caused.

I am interested in your thoughts and comments about this article. Is it helpful? Why? Why not? Send your comments to me at Bill@PullenAssociates.com or on our blog at http://pullenassociates.blogspot.com/

Please share this article with your colleagues and encourage them to sign up for future articles by visiting www.PullenAssociates.com.

©2006, William J. Pullen, Pullen Associates

Love After Love - By Derek Walcot

2006-10-06T16:37:00.000-04:00

Love After Love

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

-- DEREK WALCOTT

Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson

2006-10-06T06:43:00.000-04:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel unsure around you.
We are born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.
Its not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
As we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

From A Return to Love written by Marianne Williamson

Heart vs. Head by Alan Catanese

2006-10-04T14:58:00.000-04:00

There's no doubt about it - my mind is a great gift. But I am equally aware that the three pounds of gray matter wobbling around on top of my neck can often be more of a problem than a solution.

Because of its lofty perch, my head seems certain that it was meant to be in charge of my life. However, the truth is that my head spends much of its time manufacturing problems, fear and desires that are not real. Like a hamster in its wheel, my mind will run and run, without ever getting anywhere in its repeated attempts to "figure things out."

Several floors below, my heart sits patiently biding its time, knowing sooner or later my brain will have worked itself into a froth that results in confusion and paralysis. In those moments, my heart steps in and gently places the truth of the situation before my weary mind, a truth is has known all along. If only my head would have stopped jabbering long enough to ask. Because while my head wonders, my heart knows.

2006-10-02T16:36:00.000-04:00

Getting the Support You Need

Joel is the vice president of a rapidly growing internet business. The company’s growth has increased the demands of his job dramatically. He works long hours but feels less and less productive as his “to do” list gets longer rather than shorter. Joel does not feel supported by his team. He is angry, frustrated and resentful that his people are not pulling their weight. He has to chase them down to meet deadlines or to follow up on his requests. This prevents him from accomplishing his own work. He delegates less than ever because he does not trust the team to get the job done. It is easier for him just to do their work. He is at a point where he cannot take it anymore. He is ready to fire the whole team or to quit himself. Either way Joel is ready to step away from leadership.

Is this scenario familiar to you? Does the struggle to balance team management, task completion and leadership of your organization leave you frustrated? Do you feel like you are not getting the support you need from the people around you?

The problem for Joel, like for many of us, is that as his organization grows his leadership role changes. With change comes the need for a different work style. In the early days of his organization, Joel set the company’s direction and strategy. He was able to manage the tasks required to execute the strategy successfully. Now there are many more tasks than he can manage. A single individual could not manage them all. Joel’s job has changed. He needs to change with it.

How must Joel change? How does he need to grow?

As we develop as leaders and assume greater levels of responsibility, we need to delegate tasks to the people around us in order to focus on strategic activities. We need to be sure we have the right people around us if we are to delegate successfully. In his book Good to Great, author Jim Collins writes that we need to get the right people on the bus and in the right seats.

That accomplished, we must provide our people with the tools required for their success. We must give them the information they need to do their jobs, to support our organizations and to support us effectively. Such information includes clear statements of our needs and expectations. As leaders, we must offer training and we must be sure that each member of the team is personally and professionally capable of meeting our expectations.

The biggest challenge to leadership comes when we have the right people properly trained and in place, and when we have communicated our needs and expectations clearly. We must then let go and let them do their jobs. The job of a leader is to create environments where people can be successful and to give them the room to succeed.

Because Joel has a rigid idea of how things should be, he is frustrated that nothing is working out exactly as he planned. He fails to realize that his team members are finding creative, innovative ways to get the job done. Their efficiency supports him and enables their organization to move forward. He runs the risk of stifling them by taking away their ability to innovate, to be creative and to take initiative. By getting out of their way, by letting go of his old way of thinking and of his need to micromanage, and by trusting the people around him (after making sure they have what they needed to succeed) Joel feels more supported. Their organization is free to move forward and to achieve greater results.

In what ways do you feel a lack of supported from the people around you?
Do you have the right people on the bus? Are they in the right seats?
What information or training will they need to succeed?
What needs or expectations have you not expressed?
What are you holding too tightly?
Where do you need to let go?
What will you focus on after you let go?
How will the new focus benefit you and your organization?

I am interested in your thoughts and comments about this article. Is it helpful? Why? Why not? Post your comments.

Please share this article with your colleagues. Encourage them to sign up for future articles by visiting www.PullenAssociates.com.

©2006, William J. Pullen, Pullen Associates

2006-09-27T17:34:00.000-04:00

Welcome

2006-09-27T17:17:00.000-04:00

Welcome to Insights Blog !!

Insights is a bi-monthly newsletter published by Bill Pullen, President of Pullen Associates, a coaching and consulting firm. My personal goal, and the mission of my business is to help people be leaders in their own life. My intent in starting this blog is to initiate a dialogue between like minded people, people who are interested in exploring what it means to be a leader in ones own life. And, people who agree that by being a leader in their own life, they serve the world around them.

Below is the first issue of Insights I offer this as a starting place for our conversation.

Stepping Out of Leadership

Long-time subscribers to my mailing list may have noticed that I have been “missing”. Although I wanted to share thoughts and insights with you, I was not quite sure what I wanted to say.

Well, that has changed. I have it figured out! I encourage you to check out my website to discover what’s new. Although the look is the same, I have revised the content. You will notice a new and more powerful emphasis on the development of individual, team, organization and community leaders.

It has become clear to me that we all are leaders. I have said and thought it before, but after a rather introspective year, I am more convinced than ever that we all feel the pull to make change -- whether in our families, on our teams, in our organizations or in our communities.

If we are honest with ourselves, we admit the urge is there. We often deny it, however, and step out of leadership while rationalizing why we do so. Things I commonly hear from people include:

“I don’t know what to do.”
“I don’t have what it takes.”
“It’s not my responsibility.”
“I don’t have the time, the energy or the resources.”
“I’m afraid.”
“They won’t like me,” or “It won’t be popular.”

And my personal favorite:

“It’s all their fault!”

Consider Allison, a 35-year-old accountant at a large firm. She enjoys a good career as a consultant and receives high praise for her work from supervisors, peers and clients. The firm recently promoted her to a leadership position with a larger team, a bigger budget and a higher level of responsibility. Allison went into the job excited by the opportunity to make more of an impact on the firm and for her clients.

Six months into the new job she is floundering. Allison feels as though her superiors, her team and her clients are pulling her in conflicting directions. She does not know which way to turn. It seems the harder she works, the less effective she is.

Allison called me feeling sad, angry, frustrated, overwhelmed. She was ready to quit. She had convinced herself that she was not up to the challenging of leading people. She was ready to step out of leadership. She told herself, “I can’t do it.”

It is not that Allison cannot be a good leader. Her problem is that she has reached her leadership edge; she has reached the line where the skills she always used and the way she always operated no longer work. Her new position requires a new way of operating and a different set of skills.

What Allison needs to do (and what we all need to do when we reach that leadership edge) is to recognize her situation as an opportunity to grow as a leader, to embrace the challenge and to create a plan for overcoming it. She needs to remain in her leadership role while creating the space for the leader in her to grow.

What about you?

Where in your life are you stepping out of leadership? At home? At work? In your community?

What are you doing about it?
If you are doing nothing, what are you telling yourself?

The more aware we are of when and why we step out of leadership the better able we are decide whether or not stepping out is what we want to do.

In future articles I will discuss the costs to self, team, organization and community of stepping out of leadership. I will examine the benefits of not stepping out, and I will offer strategies for growth.

I am interested in your thoughts and comments about this article. Is it helpful? Why? Why not? Send your comments to me at Bill@PullenAssociates.com

Please share this article with your colleagues and encourage them to sign up for future articles by visiting www.PullenAssociates.com.

©2006, William J. Pullen, Pullen Associates